I don't think there's anything in my life that comes close to meriting or warranting the love that God deserves from me. This love should be absolutely unparalleled, but what's constant on my heart is that I have a very finite capacity to reciprocate Christ's holy and divine love (1 John 4:19). Yet I know that ultimate sanctification will only come at death, and until then, my flesh is still waging battle against the Spirit.
At the crux of it all, I still don't think I fully understand what total surrender means nor have I come close to achieving it in my life. That in heeding Christ's call to discipleship, I am to deny myself, take up my cross, and become completely enslaved to Jesus and God's will for my life. What I do understand is that this work is initiated, directed, and governed by the Holy Spirit, as He continues to regenerate holiness in every aspect of my life.
Some time ago, I spoke to our church's youth about how foundational bondslavery is in our relationship with Christ. I've been sitting on a post expounding on that issue and hope to have it ready soon. But in the meantime, I feel it necessary to implore every Bible-believing Christian to consider this question: is your life a total and complete act of surrender to the Lord? Or is personal elevation still the centerpiece of your life?